Fried, then baked.

As Thanksgiving approaches and I begin to settle on recipes to cook for our first holiday in our home, I realized I never posted the most scary/hilarious home-owning story to date.

First off, here is the stove that came along with the house, as pictured in the listing.

One day a month or two ago, it was raining and Stella and I were hanging out on the back porch with a good book, enjoying the ambient noise and the breeze.  I had left the door cracked for her to go in and out as she pleased, but then I realized that flies were also taking the same liberty.  I stood up and put my hand on the door to shut it when - at that exact moment - lightening struck the greenbelt behind our house.  I felt a jolt of electricity move through my hand and up my arm and immediately decided it was time for us to take the reading inside.  (My arm tingled for a good two or three hours afterward, if you're wondering.)

J and I discovered a couple days later that our stove wouldn't work.  We flipped the breaker a couple times but to no avail.  So, off to 3 different stores we went a-hunting.  J was being super particular about the stove, and I about the oven.  We were the couple every sales person dreaded.  After several hours of driving - and debating - we settled on one.

A few days later, it was delivered.  We plug it in.  It doesn't work.  Guess what! The plug was fried. (They did check the stove to make sure that it wasn't just the plug...they were both goners.)

Enter: My do-it-all-himself father to install the new plug.

Et voila - a shiny new stove that looks super pretty with our fridge.  I've also found that cooking is much more fun than it was with the old stove.

Now the only things not stainless are the vent above the stove and our dishwasher.  [Please don't break, vent and dishwasher, just because you don't match.]

To boldly go...

What we should be doing:

To her credit, Stella was helpful in unpacking the box of her things.

What we have been doing:

Instead of unpacking and being productive, the whole family has been piled up watching episodes of Star Trek.


The boxes can wait - space exploration cannot!

Trapped in a box

My main problem with unpacking, aside from the fact that it's WORK, is that progress is so incremental it seems like nothing is being accomplished.  I move nonstop for an entire day and then step back and....it looks the same.

My goal is to do a minimum of 2 boxes every day that I work and 5 on days I don't.

....I'm running out of easy boxes.

Lesson Learned

Here are a few things we learned in the process of moving:

• Moving is the best way to realize just how little you've actually ever dusted anything in your home.

• Don't assume that people understand that all boxes should be labeled.
• Boxes should be labeled on multiple sides...not just the top. 
• The box you need WILL wind up under 5 others - but it will look like 4 others which are all also under 5 other boxes

• The more helpers you have, the less likely anyone will remember where a certain box wound up.
• Make sure that the box with all of your underwear goes into your car, not the moving truck.
• Pack at least two sets of silverware, plates, bowls, and cups into your car as well.
• Don't pack the scissors.

• When shrink wrapping your mattress, leave your sheets and comforter on it.  It protects your mattress AND you don't have to spend a week sleeping in a sleeping bag on your bed.
• As a backup, keep a sleeping bag handy at all times in the move.

• Cardboard cuts are like paper cuts from the devil himself.

•  Use dog toys as fillers for boxes.  They're soft and make good cushions, plus unpacking becomes a game for at least one member of the family.

• "We're going to have just enough" really means "We're going to run out when we're 75% finished and/or an hour before the movers get here."

• I don't really know how to lift with my legs.

Be a Hero

A true hero gives his girlfriend what she wants, no matter how scared of heights he may be.

GoPro - Be a Hero

Bookie

I don't know why everyone complains about good help being hard to find.  I've found several people through the course of this whole ordeal who were not only good help, but free help! (But isn't that the best kind of help?)
KB came into town for a work related convention and had a free evening.  Obviously, she was dying to spend it helping me unpack and do manual labor.

She got hammered.  (Ba-dum-psh!)
With her help, the bookshelves are up and the living room is starting to look more like a living room and less like a storage room.  Yay progress!

We're In!

We are officially completely moved into the house.  Now all we can sit back and relax because all we have to do is unpack.  And touch up the walls.  And finish the cabinets.  And repaint some of the furniture. And...uh. What was I saying?

Anywho.  I've come to the conclusion that I have a lot of stuff.

No seriously.  A lot.
It's stupid.

Packing

I loathe it.

Painted ladies

My friends are suckers.  In the Blue post, I managed to sucker my dad, his lady, and a friend (PLUS her family) into painting that day.  On the second day of painting, J had to work, so my dad and his lady came back, plus I got Andrea, M, and D to help.
Of course, we had all the necessary supplies for the project.

Andrea painted the master bathroom, but really she was there for comedic relief.

To her credit, she read the "How To" in both English and Spanish.  She also took some time to add a personalized touch to the wall.

Not to be left out, M did some artwork of her own...and D became artwork of sorts.

Of course, we did a time lapse of the day.  How could we not?

Even though the video only shows D standing and drinking beer, he did do work in another room.  I think.  Maybe.

All we have left now is one wall of trim and all the little touch ups. Woo!

Oh...and thank you all for being free labor :) Loveyameanit

Easily amused

As I sat here waiting for the carpet cleaners to show up, I felt myself getting more and more panicked about what is left on the "To Do" list.  An hour after the scheduled appointment, they still haven't made their appearance.
So, this is what I'm doing to keep myself entertained:

Yep.  I'm not kidding when I say that the tape removing is my favorite part of the painting process.  Then again, I do love peeling labels off beer bottles and such.  What can I say, I'm easily amused.

Just peachy

For some reason, the smallest room in the house was the hardest one to choose a color for.  The previous owners had painted it what we came to describe as "Kidney Infection Yellow." We considered blue, two different purples, red, and finally settled on peach.  However, when J went and picked up all the paint, this is what he came home with:

The color on the top is what I wanted.  The one on the bottom is what they gave us.  So, back to Home Depot for the 8th time he went. 
What's that you say? You want another time lapse video?  As you wish!


I went from loving it to hating it and back and forth again the whole time I was painting.  I think I've finally settled on loving it.

J- Cabinets are Stupid

I've painted a lot of cabinets.  I've helped build a lot of cabinets.  I've even SEEN a lot of cabinets.

But I don't know what the heck these strange anti-stick, fake wood, super absorbant things in the kitchen are made from.  And anti-stick + super absorbant doesn't even make sense, but I have proof of both.

Anyway, I tried to paint them.  It looks good in places, and in others it just peeled right off.  I decided (was told) to spray paint them with a KILZ primer and try again.  I've been too scared to try painting them since, but heres a time lapse of the first wave of spray.  Its mostly about the mask.

No longer Blue...da ba de, da ba da....

The people who we bought this house from had questionable taste in interior design.  Half the house was an awful bright blue color.  In the process of covering it with a more tolerable white(ish) color, we realized that what the blue was missing was a few clouds.

All we have left now is to paint the trim.  It's amazing how different the entire house feels just by getting rid of someone else's bad decision.  

Ch-ch-check out this sweet Time Lapse video J made of the day's work!

We bleed greet purple.

This was the thing I was most excited to paint.  We originally had a boring old brown wooden door.
Now?

Now we have an awesome purple door!

I just need to find a sweet doormat to keep it company. 

Update:

Some people have expressed concern over whether this was HOA approved.  We went the "easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" route.  Our HOA guidelines say that they can enforce exterior color restrictions, but not so long as personal choices have aesthetic merit.  We also noticed that the "Yard of the Month" in our neighborhood has a red front door and garage door.  So, we're somewhat confident that we will be fine, but we're also okay with having to change it if we aren't. 

Chillin'

Last week, Stella, J and I went on a fridge hunt.

Ladies and gentlemen, the fridge has arrived!

 I was more excited about what was in this box than I usually am about Christmas presents.

Isn't it preeeeeeetty?

J - As the Rush Comes

I worked a full two shifts today, and during those, I attempted to plan out everything that might matter.  Priority One became making a list of things I've Forgotten on every job in the past.  Only one thing came to mind.

So I took down all the blinds in all the rooms first.  I popped the plates for the outlets and switches off and then taped around the edges of windows and mirrors.  Just after midnight I rediscovered the drapes.

Yet again I went through each room and took down blinds and curtains I had missed.  I love prepping, but hate those cursed blinds.

 Somewhere around one, I had the Teal room complete and I was walking around with my almost unused caulk gun looking for cracks.  Whoever did the paint job two colors ago was a master.  It used to be my job to find and seal cracks, and theres no way I could have done what that person did; no runs or spills, no crooked lines, no cracks, No mistakes!  It was just incredible.

After staring in amazement at the pro paint job, I did find evidence that a second painter had come along and just ruined what the first one had done.  Paint EVERYWHERE.  And then I was slapped in the face with a plate I had missed and threw my screwdriver down and left. 

Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe...

Choosing paint colors has caused me almost as much anxiety as the house buying process itself.  Our floors, my car, and my desk all looked like this for days:

There are paint cards EVERYWHERE.  On the upside, we now have a plethora of bookmarks in every color imaginable.

Painting samples didn't really make the decisions much easier.  The guest bathroom is currently at least 4 different colors.  However, the color decision that had me the most stumped is this:

Yep.  White or...white.  I'm not kidding.  I stared at the samples we painted for hours before finally just telling J it was his decision.  Oh, and that blue that it's painted over?  Half the damn house is that color.

J - Prepwerk!

-This post by J-

Tonight, after two jobs, two interviews, and two bites of an Arby's sammich, I got the bathrooms prepped to paint.  It wasn't so hard after I got back into the groove of things.  I'd like to remind everyone that I used to do this for a living.  Despite how it looks.

Also, the tape machine was hard to figure out.

At any rate, I did remember lesson one of contracting:

Use things from your lunch for everything possible.

 

This post says, "Posted by K" at the bottom.
The K is a lie.

I can has internet?

So after much debate, we (I) finally settled on Time Warner.  I went online, placed the order, scheduled the set up for Wednesday (the earliest available) and went on my merry way.  About 20 minutes later, I got an email telling me that my order would be cancelled unless I called Customer Service.  Most of the conversation was me sitting on hold and repeating the same information multiple times.  However, here's my favorite part of the phone call:
Time Warner Guy: "Is this your correct address? [Insert horribly pronounced, but correct address here]"
Me: "Yes."
TWG: "Is this a house?"
Me: "Yes."
TWG: "Are you sure?"

......
......
......
I kid you not.

Anywho, apparently the main problem was that the old owners didn't disconnect their account in time.  In order to get that fixed, I would either have to call the old owners or go to the local office.  Guess which one I did.

Basically, getting us internet was an entire day-long project.  While at the local office, the girl couldn't find the pricing that I had seen online but finally matched it anyway and also tossed in basic cable.  Plus, since the house was already wired for Time Warner, she just gave me the equipment so I can hook it up myself.
Face-to-face transaction = Free cable + no waiting - stupid questions = Win.

The House

This is the house we are going to call home:

• 3 Bedrooms
• 2.5 Bathrooms
• Game room
• 2,106 sq. ft

Almost home-less

The process of obtaining a house for J and K was not an easy one. We found a house, were assured our application would be approved and then - a full month after the scheduled close date - we were declined.  All we got for our time and money was a "Here's what you'll have to do.  Come back in a couple months."  So we did that.
Fast forward several frustrating months later: We found another house. Not learning from our mistakes last time, we reapplied at the same place as before. Once again, we didn't get an answer by our scheduled closing date - but this time we finally (eventually) got a yes.

A few things I learned about getting a mortgage:
1) Loan Officers are worthless if you have questions about anything except where to sign
2) Bank employees have two different forms of "immediately." One they use literally, when they're requesting something of you. The other, they use liberally and may mean up to several days. They use this form when you are the one requesting something of them.
3) Mortgage processors operate on the assumption that unusual = wrong.
4) Unless you've had ONE position at ONE employer and ONE pay plan for two years, try to not buy a house.